Goal 1: Be comfortable staying at home without my guardian

If your child is struggling with out of game challenges:

• The early / easier challenges are just as important as the later/harder ones. Don’t be tempted to overlook them as too easy. Doing those challenges sets children up to believe they can do this.

• Ask your child how they think they could customise these. They often have creative ideas!

• Don’t worry if one of the earlier challenges seems harder for your child than some of the later ones. All children are different.

• As a parent, have a think about the ultimate goal, and whether you’re happy for your child to get most of the way through and anything extra is a bonus. For example, you might be happy to see your child stay at home while you nip to the shops for an hour, or perhaps being able to go places where there might be insects but not necessarily needing to hold a big spider. 

• Children often benefit throughout all the challenges by using the breathing techniques they’re taught in the “imagine” challenge. Remind them to relax and take slow, deep breaths at the start of each challenge.

• Make it fun! For example, if your young person is worried about being in the dark, let your child put you in a dark room for a bit and see how you cope.

Customising out of game challenges

CHALLENGES: 4-8

4. Stay in a room alone without guardian 

Ways to customise this challenge: Reduce the amount of time your child needs to spend alone.

1. To make this challenge easier for your young person, try reducing the amount of time your child is alone in the room to 1 or 2 minutes and gradually increase the time until they are able to stay alone for 15-20 minutes.

2. Be sure to tell them how long you’ll be away each time you try so they know what to expect.

3. If they are still finding this challenge too difficult, make it slightly easier by having another member of the family, or another trusted adult that isn’t a parent or guardian, stay in the same room.

You can encourage your child by saying:

• “It’s okay to feel worried about being alone, but let’s try it anyway! I know you can do it!”

• “I’ll be right outside your door and I’ll come back as soon as the timer ends.”
  

Tips:

• Use a timer on your phone with an alarm.

• Engage your child in an activity like drawing, reading, watching a film, etc. before you start the challenge. 

5. Stay in the house alone with guardian outside on the phone

Ways to customise this challenge: Stand where your child can see you.

1. To make this challenge easier, stand where they can easily see you. For example, you might stand on the other side of a door or window, and when they feel comfortable you can take a few steps further away.

2. You can start by being outside for 1-2 minutes and gradually increase the time and distance until you are able to stay outside and out of sight for 15-20 minutes.

3. Be sure to tell them how long you’ll be away each time you try so they know what to expect.

4. If they are still finding this challenge too difficult, make it slightly easier by having another member of the family, or another trusted adult that isn’t a parent or guardian, stay in the same room.

You can encourage your child by saying:

• “It’s okay if you feel worried now, but I know you can be brave enough to stay inside without me!”

• “I’ll be on the phone with you the whole time and I’ll come back in as soon as the timer ends.”
  

Tips:

• Ask your child how they’re feeling while you’re speaking to them on the phone.

• Remind them that it’s ok if they feel worried, and that they’re doing a great job being brave. 

6. Stay in the house alone while guardian goes outside

Ways to customise this challenge: Use a signal to let your child know you’re still outside.

1. To make this challenge easier, help your child choose a way for you to let them know you’re still outside. For example, you might knock three times on the door and your child can knock three times back.

2. You can start by being outside for 1-2 minutes and gradually increase the time and distance until you are able to stay outside and out of sight for 15-20 minutes.

3. Be sure to tell them how long you’ll be away each time you try so they know what to expect.

4. If they are still finding this challenge too difficult, make it slightly easier by having another member of the family, or another trusted adult that isn’t a parent or guardian, stay in the same room.

You can encourage your child by saying:

• “Feeling worried is perfectly normal, but I’m so proud of how brave you are!”

• “Think of all the progress you’ve already made. You’ve already overcome so many worries!”
  

Tips: 

• Use a timer on your phone with an alarm.

• Engage your child in an activity like drawing, reading, watching a film, etc. before you start the challenge. 

7. Stay home with someone else without guardian for 1 hour

Ways to customise this challenge: Start slowly and check in while you’re away.

1. To make this challenge easier, start by going somewhere close to your house. For example, you might start by walking to the end of the block and back.

2. Tell your child where you’re going (it will help if it’s somewhere familiar to them) and how long you think it will take. 

3. If they are still finding this challenge too difficult, make it slightly easier by checking in.

4. Send them a text or a photo of where you are to let them know you’re ok and you’ll be back soon.

You can encourage your child by saying:

• “I know you worry about being home without me, but ______ is here to (play a game/watch a film/color/have a snack) with you and I’ll be back soon!”

• “I’m so proud of how strong and brave you are, even if you’re feeling worried now. I know you can do this!”
  

Tips:

• Try to give your child as much information as you can about where you are going and when you’ll be back.

• Show them pictures of the shop or park or café you’ll visit while they’re home and be sure they know when you’ll be back.

• Give them a time range (“I’ll be home between 6:00 and 6:15”) and be sure to return on time!

8. Stay with someone else without guardian for evening

Ways to customise this challenge: Reduce the amount of time.

1. If your child is still worried about a whole evening away, start this challenge by reducing the amount of time. As they stayed home without you for 1 hour in the last challenge, start by increasing the time to 1.5 or 2 hours, and continue to gradually add more time from there. 

2. If they are still finding this challenge too difficult, offer a reward for completing the goal, like a trip to the park the following day or another fun activity they might enjoy.

You can encourage your child by saying:

• “You are so brave, and I hope you’re proud of all the progress you’ve made!”

• “I feel worried sometimes when I’m without you, too, but I know that we can do this together.”
  

Tips: 

• Going to bed without you may be a separate worry for your child.

• If it is, come home before your child goes to bed for this challenge and work on going to sleep alone as another goal.