Goal 8: Be able to spend time near a dog

If your child is struggling with out of game challenges:

• The early / easier challenges are just as important as the later/harder ones. Don’t be tempted to overlook them as too easy. Doing those challenges sets children up to believe they can do this.

• Ask your child how they think they could customise these. They often have creative ideas!

• Don’t worry if one of the earlier challenges seems harder for your child than some of the later ones. All children are different.

• As a parent, have a think about the ultimate goal, and whether you’re happy for your child to get most of the way through and anything extra is a bonus. For example, you might be happy to see your child stay at home while you nip to the shops for an hour, or perhaps being able to go places where there might be insects but not necessarily needing to hold a big spider. 

• Children often benefit throughout all the challenges by using the breathing techniques they’re taught in the “imagine” challenge. Remind them to relax and take slow, deep breaths at the start of each challenge.

• Make it fun! For example, if your young person is worried about being in the dark, let your child put you in a dark room for a bit and see how you cope.

Customising out of game challenges

CHALLENGES: 6-10

6. Look at a dog through a window

Ways to customise this challenge: Start far away and gradually get closer.

1. If your child is worried about seeing a dog, try this challenge for the first time with the dog far away but still visible through the window. For example, have someone stand with the dog across the street or outside a garden fence. The next time you try this challenge, have them stand a little bit closer. 

2. If your child is still feeling worried, stay close to them while they watch the dog. The first time they try you might also let them look at the dog once and then focus on something else - a mobile game, the television, etc. Have them stay where they can see the dog and encourage them to look at it as much as they can, but let them take breaks, too. Keep practicing until they can watch the dog out the window without needing a distraction.

You can encourage your child by saying:

• “You’re so brave! I know you can do it!” 

• “I’m so proud of you for facing this fear.”

Tips: 

Be sure to find someone to help you who has a well-behaved dog. Watching a dog that is out of control, that barks or jumps a lot, or that is off lead and running around will likely not help your child feel more confident.

7. Stand next to a dog on a lead

Ways to customise this challenge: Gradually increase time and proximity.

1. If your child is worried about seeing a dog, try this challenge for the first time with the dog far away but still visible. For example, have someone stand with the dog across the street or outside a garden fence. The next time you try this challenge, have them stand a little bit closer. 

2. If your child is still feeling worried, stay close to them while they watch the dog. Let them approach the dog when they feel ready, and try to encourage them to stand nearby for 1 minute. Gradually increase the time until they can make it 15-20 minutes. 

You can encourage your child by saying:

• “You’re making progress already. I’m proud of you!” 

• “I know you can be brave and give it a go!”

Tips: 

Be sure to find someone to help you who has a well-behaved dog. Watching a dog that is out of control, that barks or jumps a lot, or that is off lead and running around will likely not help your child feel more confident. 

8. Stroke a dog on a lead

Ways to customise this challenge: Keep the dog very well controlled.

1. If your child is still feeling worried, stay close to them while they watch the dog. Model stroking the dog by holding your hand out and letting the dog sniff you, and then stroking its head. When your child is ready, ask the dog’s owner to hold the dog as still as they can and let your child touch its ear or head. Keep practicing this way until your child feels confident enough for the dog to be on a loose lead. Encourage your child to hold their hand out and let the dog sniff them. 

2. Like before, you can increase the time your child spends near the dog. First they may just touch it once and walk away. The next time, they may touch the dog but stay nearby for a few minutes. Then they can try to pat the dog three times. 

You can encourage your child by saying:

• “It’s ok to feel worried about this, but I know you can do it!” 

• “You’ve made so much progress already. Remember how well you can cope with feeling worried!”

Tips: 

Be sure to find someone to help you who has a well-behaved dog. Watching a dog that is out of control, that barks or jumps a lot, or that is off lead and running around will likely not help your child feel more confident. Choosing a small dog might help your child feel less worried, too!

9. Stand near a dog off lead

Ways to customise this challenge: Gradually increase time and proximity.

1. If your child is worried about seeing a dog, try this challenge for the first time with the dog far away but still visible. Since the dog is off lead, it might help to start with a physical barrier between your child and the dog. For example, you might stand on the other side of a fence that your child can see through so that the dog can get close to your child but not touch them.

2. Working with a well-trained dog is very important for this challenge. Ask the dog’s owner to call the dog back and show your child that it will listen. Let your child know that they can tell the owner to call the dog back whenever they need to. Ask the owner to have the dog sit or lie down while your child gets used to being nearby.

3. If your child is still feeling worried, stay close to them while they watch the dog. Let them approach the dog when they feel ready, and try to encourage them to stand nearby for 1 minute. Gradually increase the time until they can make it 15-20 minutes. 

You can encourage your child by saying:

• “I know this is a really tough challenge but you’re brave enough to give it a go!” 

• “I hope you’re proud of all the progress you’ve made. You’re doing such a great job!”

Tips: 

Be sure to find someone to help you who has a well-behaved dog. Watching a dog that is out of control, that barks or jumps a lot, or that is off lead and running around will likely not help your child feel more confident.

10. Stroke a dog off lead

Ways to customise this challenge: Keep the dog very well controlled.

1. If your child is still feeling worried, stay close to them while they watch the dog. Model stroking the dog by holding your hand out and letting the dog sniff you, and then stroking its head. When your child is ready, ask the dog’s owner to hold the dog as still as they can and let your child touch its ear or head. Keep practicing this way until your child feels confident enough for the dog to be on its own off lead. Encourage your child to hold their hand out and let the dog sniff them. 

2. Working with a well-trained dog is very important for this challenge. Ask the dog’s owner to call the dog back and show your child that it will listen. Let your child know that they can tell the owner to call the dog back whenever they need to. Ask the owner to have the dog sit or lie down while your child gets used to being nearby.

3. Like before, you can increase the time your child spends near the dog. First they may just touch it once and walk away. The next time, they may touch the dog but stay nearby for a few minutes. Then they can try to pat the dog three times. 

You can encourage your child by saying:

• “It’s ok to feel worried about this, but I know you can do it!” 

• “You’ve made so much progress already. Remember how well you can cope with feeling worried!”

Tips: 

Be sure to find someone to help you who has a well-behaved dog. Watching a dog that is out of control, that barks or jumps a lot, or that is off lead and running around will likely not help your child feel more confident.

Common questions