Goal 6: Feel comfortable visiting a busy or crowded place

If your child is struggling with out of game challenges:

• The early / easier challenges are just as important as the later/harder ones. Don’t be tempted to overlook them as too easy. Doing those challenges sets children up to believe they can do this.

• Ask your child how they think they could customise these. They often have creative ideas!

• Don’t worry if one of the earlier challenges seems harder for your child than some of the later ones. All children are different.

• As a parent, have a think about the ultimate goal, and whether you’re happy for your child to get most of the way through and anything extra is a bonus. For example, you might be happy to see your child stay at home while you nip to the shops for an hour, or perhaps being able to go places where there might be insects but not necessarily needing to hold a big spider. 

• Children often benefit throughout all the challenges by using the breathing techniques they’re taught in the “imagine” challenge. Remind them to relax and take slow, deep breaths at the start of each challenge.

• Make it fun! For example, if your young person is worried about being in the dark, let your child put you in a dark room for a bit and see how you cope.

Customising out of game challenges

CHALLENGES: 4-8

4. Go past a busy place (walking, driving, or public transport)

Ways to customise this challenge: Go at a less busy time.

1. Make a plan about where and when you will visit and choose a time that is likely to be less busy, like a Sunday morning instead of a Saturday afternoon. 

You can encourage your child by saying:

• “It’s ok to feel worried. Let’s give it a try anyway!” 

• “I know you’re really brave. I think you can do it!”

Tips:

Reduce the amount of time as needed - start by driving by quickly, then walk by more slowly. You can also ask your child what it is about busy places that makes them worry and help them feel more at ease, for example, if they worry about the noise they could wear headphones.

5. Visit a busy place and stand nearby

Ways to customise this challenge: Go at a less busy time.

1. Make a plan about where and when you will visit and choose a time that is likely to be less busy, like a Sunday morning instead of a Saturday afternoon. 

You can encourage your child by saying:

• “I feel worried, too. But if you give it a try I think you’ll see that you can make it through those bad feelings!” 

• “I’m so proud of you for trying! Let’s be brave together.”

Tips:

Start with a short amount of time - go for 1-2 minutes and gradually increase the time until your child can stand near a busy place and watch for 15-20 minutes.

6. Visit a busy place and stand outside the entrance

Ways to customise this challenge: Go at a less busy time.

1. Make a plan about where and when you will visit and choose a time that is likely to be less busy, like a Sunday morning instead of a Saturday afternoon. 

You can encourage your child by saying:

• “It’s ok if you’re still worried, but I think it might be fun to play a game together.”

• “I’m so proud of you for being brave! Let’s give it a try!”

Tips:

Start with a short amount of time - go for 1-2 minutes and gradually increase the time until your child can stand near the entrance and watch for 15-20 minutes

7. Visit a busy place and stand inside the entrance

Ways to customise this challenge: Go at a less busy time.

1. Make a plan about where and when you will visit and choose a time that is likely to be less busy, like a Sunday morning instead of a Saturday afternoon. 

You can encourage your child by saying:

• “You’ve made so much progress already! I know you can be brave enough to go inside.” 

• “Remember it’s ok to feel worried. It’s ok if you need to leave. We’ll keep trying until you can stand inside the door.”

Tips:

Start with a short amount of time - go for 1-2 minutes and gradually increase the time until your child can stand near a busy place and watch for 15-20 minutes.

8. Visit a busy place and spend time inside

Ways to customise this challenge: Go at a less busy time.

1. Make a plan about where and when you will visit and choose a time that is likely to be less busy, like a Sunday morning instead of a Saturday afternoon. 

You can encourage your child by saying:

• “Think about all the challenges you’ve already made it through. I hope you’re proud of how brave you are!” 

• “Feeling worried is totally normal. I know you’ve got this!”

Tips:

Start with a short amount of time - go for 1-2 minutes and gradually increase the time until your child can be inside for 15-20 minutes. If they need to leave before the time is up, try to stay close to the busy place for a minute and then go back in when they’re ready.

Common questions