Goal 14: Be able to eat or drink in front of other people

If your child is struggling with out of game challenges:

• The early / easier challenges are just as important as the later/harder ones. Don’t be tempted to overlook them as too easy. Doing those challenges sets children up to believe they can do this.

• Ask your child how they think they could customise these. They often have creative ideas!

• Don’t worry if one of the earlier challenges seems harder for your child than some of the later ones. All children are different.

• As a parent, have a think about the ultimate goal, and whether you’re happy for your child to get most of the way through and anything extra is a bonus. For example, you might be happy to see your child stay at home while you nip to the shops for an hour, or perhaps being able to go places where there might be insects but not necessarily needing to hold a big spider. 

• Children often benefit throughout all the challenges by using the breathing techniques they’re taught in the “imagine” challenge. Remind them to relax and take slow, deep breaths at the start of each challenge.

• Make it fun! For example, if your young person is worried about being in the dark, let your child put you in a dark room for a bit and see how you cope.

Customising out of game challenges

CHALLENGES: 4-9

4. Have a small snack with a friend or family member

Ways to customise this challenge: Start with a bite or two from far away.

1. If your child is feeling worried, let them try this challenge by just taking one sip or one bite of food with someone else in the same room but not very close. They could also turn on some music or the television or ask the other person to talk so they aren’t listening. 

2. Gradually have your child eat or drink a little bit more and ask them to get closer to the friend or family member. By the end of this challenge, your child should be able to eat a small snack while sitting next to someone. 

You can encourage your child by saying:

• “It’s ok if you’re feeling worried. You can be brave enough to try it anyway.” 

• “I’m proud of you for trying this challenge. You’re doing a great job!”

Tips: Choose a food or drink that is quiet and easy to eat - don’t use a straw that might make a slurping sound or a food that is crunchy or messy. Let your child pick something that will help them feel less noticeable and more comfortable. 

5. Eat a loud, smelly, or messy food with a friend or family member

Ways to customise this challenge: Start with a bite or two from far away.

1. If your child is feeling worried, let them try this challenge by just taking one sip or one bite of food with someone else in the same room but not very close. They could also turn on some music or the television or ask the other person to talk so they aren’t listening. 

2. Gradually have your child eat or drink a little bit more and ask them to get closer to the friend or family member. By the end of this challenge, your child should be able to eat a small snack while sitting next to someone. 

You can encourage your child by saying:

• “I know you can face your fears. You’re so brave!” 

• “Remember that it’s ok to worry, but those bad feelings can’t hurt you!”

Tips: Be sure the friend or family member who’s helping with this challenge knows to be positive and encouraging. Most of the time this worry is about people watching or commenting on your child’s eating, so talk with the person ahead of time to let them know they shouldn’t say anything about the noisy or smelly or messy food. Help your child feel like it’s normal and easy to be able to eat around other people.  

6. Have a small snack with a few friends or family members 

Ways to customise this challenge: Start with a bite or two from far away.

1. If your child is feeling worried, let them try this challenge by just taking one sip or one bite of food with other people  in the same room but not very close. They could also turn on some music or the television or ask the other people to talk so they aren’t listening. 

2. Gradually have your child eat or drink a little bit more and ask them to get closer to their friends or family members. By the end of this challenge, your child should be able to eat a small snack while sitting next to a few people. 

You can encourage your child by saying:

• “I know you can do this. You’re so brave.” 

• “I’m really proud of you for giving it a go!”

Tips: Choose a food or drink that is quiet and easy to eat - don’t use a straw that might make a slurping sound or a food that is crunchy or messy. Let your child pick something that will help them feel less noticeable and more comfortable. 

7. Eat a loud, smelly, or messy food with a few friends or family members

Ways to customise this challenge: Start with a bite or two from far away.

1. If your child is feeling worried, let them try this challenge by just taking one sip or one bite of food with other people in the same room but not very close. They could also turn on some music or the television or ask the other people to talk so they aren’t listening. 

2. Gradually have your child eat or drink a little bit more and ask them to get closer to their friends or family members. By the end of this challenge, your child should be able to eat a small snack while sitting next to a few people. 

You can encourage your child by saying:

• “Think about how far you’ve come already. You’re doing a great job!” 

• “Facing your fears isn’t always easy, but  I’m so proud of you for trying.”

Tips: Be sure the friends or family members who are helping with this challenge know to be positive and encouraging. Most of the time this worry is about people watching or commenting on your child’s eating, so talk with the people ahead of time to let them know they shouldn’t say anything about the noisy or smelly or messy food. Help your child feel like it’s normal and easy to be able to eat around other people.  

8. Have a small snack in a public place

Ways to customise this challenge: Start with a bite or two from far away.

1. If your child is feeling worried, let them try this challenge by just taking one sip or one bite of food. Start in a place that’s busy but where they don’t have to be close to other people. It might also help if it’s a noisy place where it won’t be easy to hear or see your child eating. For example, you might visit a food hall at a time that’s not very busy and let your child take one bite of a snack standing around the outside away from the other tables. 

2. Gradually have your child get closer to other people while they eat a small amount. Have them sit at a table without too many other people around, and eventually sit at a table in the middle of other people.

You can encourage your child by saying:

• “It’s ok to feel worried - it’s totally normal. Let’s try it out anyway!” 

• “You’ve been so brave already. I’m so proud! Let’s keep going!”

Tips: If your child is still worried about other people watching them eat, having them start with their back to everyone else might help too.

9. Eat a loud, smelly, or messy food in a public place

Ways to customise this challenge: Start with a bite or two from far away.

1. If your child is feeling worried, let them try this challenge by just taking one sip or one bite of food. Start in a place that’s busy but where they don’t have to be close to other people. It might also help if it’s a noisy place where it won’t be easy to hear or see your child eating. For example, you might visit a food hall at a time that’s not very busy and let your child take one bite of a snack standing around the outside away from the other tables. 

2. Gradually have your child get closer to other people while they eat a small amount. Have them sit at a table without too many other people around, and eventually sit at a table in the middle of other people.

You can encourage your child by saying:

• “Let’s think about all the challenges you’ve already done. You’ve been so brave!” 

• “I’m really proud of you for doing all of these challenges. Let’s keep going!”

Tips: If your child is still worried about other people watching them eat, having them start with their back to everyone else might help too.

Common questions