Goal 2: Be ok with making a mistake on school work

If your child is struggling with out of game challenges:

• The early / easier challenges are just as important as the later/harder ones. Don’t be tempted to overlook them as too easy. Doing those challenges sets children up to believe they can do this.

• Ask your child how they think they could customise these. They often have creative ideas!

• Don’t worry if one of the earlier challenges seems harder for your child than some of the later ones. All children are different.

• As a parent, have a think about the ultimate goal, and whether you’re happy for your child to get most of the way through and anything extra is a bonus. For example, you might be happy to see your child stay at home while you nip to the shops for an hour, or perhaps being able to go places where there might be insects but not necessarily needing to hold a big spider. 

• Children often benefit throughout all the challenges by using the breathing techniques they’re taught in the “imagine” challenge. Remind them to relax and take slow, deep breaths at the start of each challenge.

• Make it fun! For example, if your young person is worried about being in the dark, let your child put you in a dark room for a bit and see how you cope.

Customising out of game challenges

CHALLENGES: 4-7

4. Make a mistake on homework

Ways to customise this challenge: Write the correct answer, too.

1. If your child is too worried about completing homework incorrectly, start by writing the wrong answer, crossing it out, and writing the correct answer next to it. Keep trying until your child is able to hand it in with a wrong answer.  

2. It’s important to speak to your child’s teacher so they know your child is working on this goal, and describe each challenge to them, too.

3. If you or your child are worried about missing points on homework, ask their teacher if they can correct their homework to earn more points after they’ve handed it in with the wrong answer. 

You can encourage your child by saying:

• “We all make mistakes sometimes. Your teacher and I will not be angry with you if you do it, too.”

• “It’s ok if you feel worried about messing up. But I know you’re brave enough to try it anyway!”

Tips: 

• When making a mistake on homework or in a test, go through the work sheet first and decide which one you’re going to get wrong.

• Put a little dot next to it so you’re ready for it when it comes around.

• The first few times you make a mistake, if you worry more about one particular school subject, try choosing a different subject and work up to the one you worry most about.

5. Answer a question wrong in class

Ways to customise this challenge: Answer a question wrong in smaller groups.

1. It will be helpful to know more about your child’s worries - talk to them about whether they are worried about being wrong in front of the teacher or their classmates.

2. If they are more worried about their classmates, try to arrange for them to practise answering a question wrong with only their teacher first. The  next time, they can practise answering a question wrong in front of only a small group  of students.

3. If they are still finding this challenge too difficult, have them start practicing with you or another family member first.

You can encourage your child by saying:

• “Sometimes I feel embarrassed or worried when I make a mistake in front of other people. But we all do it sometimes, and even if it makes me feel a little bad, I’m always ok afterward. You will be too!”

• “I’m so proud of how brave you’ve been so far!”

Tips:

• Talk to your child about a specific time you made a mistake, maybe at work and felt embarrassed.

• Tell them how you felt, how you coped with it and how it all turned out ok.

• Help them understand that adults make mistakes too, and even if it feels bad at the time, that bad feeling won’t hurt them and it won’t last long.

6. Answer a question you don’t know the answer to

Ways to customise this challenge: practise at home first.

1. Start by talking with your child about something that interests them or they know a lot about.

2. Ask them easy questions they can answer first, and then ask them more difficult questions they might not know.

3. Encourage them to guess even if they don’t know the answer, and be sure to tell them they’ve done a good job for trying.

4. Don’t be angry or upset if they don’t know the answer.

You can encourage your child by saying:

• “There are a lot of questions I don’t know the answer to, but it’s ok to guess sometimes. That’s how we learn!”

• “I know you may feel worried about being wrong, but no one will be angry with you for trying.”

Tips: 

• The more practise, the better.

• You can try this challenge while you are eating a meal, in the car, at the park, or any time you are with your child - it doesn’t need to be a separate activity.

• Be sure to praise your child every time they try to answer a question, even if they are wrong.

• If you can help them feel like it’s ok to guess and make a mistake, it will be easier for them to try it at school, too. 

7. Make a mistake on a test or quiz

Ways to customise this challenge: Write the correct answer, too.

Have your child start by writing the wrong answer first and then writing the correct answer next to it.

The next time, they can write the wrong answer and make a note next to it that they do know the correct answer (but don’t write the correct one down).

Then they can write the wrong answer and make a star next to it (or some symbol that lets them know they do know the correct answer but aren’t going to write it down).

Eventually, they should write only the wrong answer with no other note or symbol.

You can encourage your child by saying:

• “You are so brave, and I hope you’re proud of all the progress you’ve made!”

• “It’s ok to make mistakes, as long as you keep trying to learn.”

Tips:

• If you’re worried about your child’s marks, talk with their teacher about this challenge and ways for them to make up points after they’ve practised writing the wrong answer.

Common questions