Goal 5: Be able to sleep on my own

If your child is struggling with out of game challenges:

• The early / easier challenges are just as important as the later/harder ones. Don’t be tempted to overlook them as too easy. Doing those challenges sets children up to believe they can do this.

• Ask your child how they think they could customise these. They often have creative ideas!

• Don’t worry if one of the earlier challenges seems harder for your child than some of the later ones. All children are different.

• As a parent, have a think about the ultimate goal, and whether you’re happy for your child to get most of the way through and anything extra is a bonus. For example, you might be happy to see your child stay at home while you nip to the shops for an hour, or perhaps being able to go places where there might be insects but not necessarily needing to hold a big spider. 

• Children often benefit throughout all the challenges by using the breathing techniques they’re taught in the “imagine” challenge. Remind them to relax and take slow, deep breaths at the start of each challenge.

• Make it fun! For example, if your young person is worried about being in the dark, let your child put you in a dark room for a bit and see how you cope.

Customising out of game challenges

CHALLENGES: 4-8

4. Go to sleep while your guardian sits on the bed with you

Ways to customise this challenge: Make a bedtime routine that helps your child feel relaxed and comfortable. 

1. Having a similar routine every night with familiar actions and objects may help your child feel calmer and less worried about going to bed on their own.

2. Talk with your child about things they think might help. Some options include:

   • Read a relaxing book

   • Listen to or sing a song together

   • Create a special goodnight rhyme or saying 

   • Give a hug, hand squeeze, high five, or some other comforting action

   • Choose a teddy or something else to cuddle 

   • Use a nightlight

   • Play calm sounds (waves or white noise)

3. Once you and your child decide what they want to try, help them follow through and do that routine each night.

4. If other family members or caregivers put your child to bed, make sure they know to help your child get ready for bed in a similar way. 

You can encourage your child by saying:

• “I know you’re worried about sleeping alone, so I’ll stay here until you fall asleep and we’ll keep practicing” 

• “I’m so proud of you for trying this challenge. I know you can do it!”
  
  

Tips:

• Try to avoid screens and blue light as part of the bedtime routine, as this can often make your child feel too stimulated to sleep.

• If your child wakes up and is worried that you aren’t there, do your best to stay calm and positive.

• You may need to come back to sit on the bed with them until they fall asleep each time.

• Let them know you’re there, but try not to talk or interact with them too much.

• When you repeat the challenge, you can try waiting to go in for 1 minute the first time they wake up, and then 2 minutes the next time, etc. This will help them see that you are still there, but also that nothing bad will happen if you aren’t in the room as soon as they wake up.  

5. Go to sleep while your guardian sits on the floor by the bed

Ways to customise this challenge: Make a bedtime routine that helps your child feel relaxed and comfortable. 

1. Having a similar routine every night with familiar actions and objects may help your child feel calmer and less worried about going to bed on their own.

2. Talk with your child about things they think might help. Some options include:

   • Read a relaxing book

   • Listen to or sing a song together

   • Create a special goodnight rhyme or saying 

   • Give a hug, hand squeeze, high five, or some other comforting action

   • Choose a teddy or something else to cuddle 

   • Use a nightlight

   • Play calm sounds (waves or white noise)

3. Once you and your child decide what they want to try, help them follow through and do that routine each night.

4. If other family members or caregivers put your child to bed, make sure they know to help your child get ready for bed in a similar way. 

You can encourage your child by saying:

• “I’m going to sit a little further away from you tonight but I’ll still be here until you fall asleep” 

• “You’re making progress already. I’m so proud of you!”
  
  
  

Tips:

• Try to avoid screens and blue light as part of the bedtime routine, as this can often make your child feel too stimulated to sleep.

• If your child wakes up and is worried that you aren’t there, do your best to stay calm and positive.

• You may need to come back to sit on the floor next to them until they fall asleep each time.

• Let them know you’re there, but try not to talk or interact with them too much.

• When you repeat the challenge, you can try waiting to go in for 1 minute the first time they wake up, and then 2 minutes the next time, etc. This will help them see that you are still there, but also that nothing bad will happen if you aren’t in the room as soon as they wake up.

6. Go to sleep while your guardian sits by the door

Ways to customise this challenge: Make a bedtime routine that helps your child feel relaxed and comfortable. 

1. Having a similar routine every night with familiar actions and objects may help your child feel calmer and less worried about going to bed on their own.

2. Talk with your child about things they think might help. Some options include:

   • Read a relaxing book

   • Listen to or sing a song together

   • Create a special goodnight rhyme or saying 

   • Give a hug, hand squeeze, high five, or some other comforting action

   • Choose a teddy or something else to cuddle 

   • Use a nightlight

   • Play calm sounds (waves or white noise)

3. Once you and your child decide what they want to try, help them follow through and do that routine each night.

4. If other family members or caregivers put your child to bed, make sure they know to help your child get ready for bed in a similar way. 

You can encourage your child by saying:

• “I’m going to sit a little further away from you tonight but I’ll still be here until you fall asleep” 

• “You’re making progress already. I’m so proud of you!”

Tips:

• Try to avoid screens and blue light as part of the bedtime routine, as this can often make your child feel too stimulated to sleep.

• If your child wakes up and is worried that you aren’t there, do your best to stay calm and positive.

• You may need to come back to sit on the bed with them until they fall asleep each time. Let them know you’re there, but try not to talk or interact with them too much.

• When you repeat the challenge, you can try waiting to go in for 1 minute the first time they wake up, and then 2 minutes the next time, etc. This will help them see that you are still there, but also that nothing bad will happen if you aren’t in the room as soon as they wake up.

7. Go to sleep while your guardian sits outside the door

Ways to customise this challenge: Check in to let your child know you’re still close by.

1. Continue with the same bedtime routine you’ve been using.

2. If your child feels more worried because you won’t be in the room, start by sitting outside the door with the door open so they can see you. When you repeat the challenge, try leaving the door open but sitting where they can’t see you. 

3. If this is still too difficult for your child, try sitting where they can’t see you but checking in until they fall asleep.

4. Start by checking after 1 minute, then wait 2 minutes, etc.

5. The next time you try this challenge, try to increase the time. For example, you might check in for the first time at 3 minutes, then again after 5 minutes, etc.

6. Set a timer on your phone (but make it quiet in case they fall asleep!) and do your best to wait until it goes off before checking on your child.

7. If you feel anxious or worried about being away from them while they’re upset, try using headphones or something else to help you feel calmer while you’re waiting for the timer to go off. 

8. Be sure to check in quietly and try not to go in the room. If you need to, just stand in the doorway for a minute and say a short phrase, like “I’m still here” or “It’s time to go to sleep now.” 

You can encourage your child by saying:

• “You’ve made so much progress sleeping on your own. I’m so proud of you!” 

• “Feeling worried is totally normal. But you’re being so brave!”

Tips:

• Try to avoid screens and blue light as part of the bedtime routine, as this can often make your child feel too stimulated to sleep.

• If your child wakes up and is worried that you aren’t there, do your best to stay calm and positive.

• You may need to check in with them again until they fall asleep each time.

• Let them know you’re there, but try not to talk or interact with them too much. 

8. Go to sleep while your guardian stays in another room

Ways to customise this challenge: Check in to let your child know you’re still close by.

1. Continue with the same bedtime routine you’ve been using.

2. If necessary, check in with your child until you fall asleep.  Start by checking after 1 minute, then wait 2 minutes, etc.

3. The next time you try this challenge, try to increase the time. For example, you might check in for the first time at 3 minutes, then again after 5 minutes, etc.

4. Set a timer on your phone (but make it quiet in case they fall asleep!) and do your best to wait until it goes off before checking on your child.

5. If you feel anxious or worried about being away from them while they’re upset, try using headphones or something else to help you feel calmer while you’re waiting for the timer to go off. 

6. Be sure to check in quietly and try not to go in the room. If you need to, just stand in the doorway for a minute and say a short phrase, like “I’m still here” or “It’s time to go to sleep now.” 

You can encourage your child by saying:

• “You’ve done such a great job facing your fears. I hope you’re proud of yourself!!” 

• “Feeling worried is totally normal. But you’re being so brave!

Tips:

• Try to avoid screens and blue light as part of the bedtime routine, as this can often make your child feel too stimulated to sleep.

• If your child wakes up and is worried that you aren’t there, do your best to stay calm and positive.

• You may need to check in with them again until they fall asleep each time.

• Let them know you’re there, but try not to talk or interact with them too much.

Common questions