Goal 9: Be able to spend time near insects or spiders

If your child is struggling with out of game challenges:

• The early / easier challenges are just as important as the later/harder ones. Don’t be tempted to overlook them as too easy. Doing those challenges sets children up to believe they can do this.

• Ask your child how they think they could customise these. They often have creative ideas!

• Don’t worry if one of the earlier challenges seems harder for your child than some of the later ones. All children are different.

• As a parent, have a think about the ultimate goal, and whether you’re happy for your child to get most of the way through and anything extra is a bonus. For example, you might be happy to see your child stay at home while you nip to the shops for an hour, or perhaps being able to go places where there might be insects but not necessarily needing to hold a big spider. 

• Children often benefit throughout all the challenges by using the breathing techniques they’re taught in the “imagine” challenge. Remind them to relax and take slow, deep breaths at the start of each challenge.

• Make it fun! For example, if your young person is worried about being in the dark, let your child put you in a dark room for a bit and see how you cope.

Customising out of game challenges

CHALLENGES: 5-9

5. Stand next to an insect in a container

Ways to customise this challenge: Gradually increase time and proximity.

1. Start with the insect in a container on the other side of the room. Encourage your child to look at it, and then let them engage in another activity (colouring, watching television, playing a mobile game, etc.). Ask them to take a step closer to the container and look at it again. Continue until they are able to stand next to the container. 

2. Once they’ve gotten close to it once, you can also gradually increase the time. Start by having them stand next to it for 1 minute, then increase to 2 or 3, and continue until they can be next to it for 15-20 minutes.

You can encourage your child by saying:

• “It’s ok to feel worried about this, but I know you can do it!” 

• “You’re so brave! I’m proud of you for giving it a try!”

Tips: 

If your child is worried about a particular kind of insect (like spiders, or things that bite or sting), be sure to start with something different. Try to find a ladybird or a fly or something that isn’t as worrying. If that is still too difficult, you might start with a dead insect so your child knows it can’t do anything. 

6. Stand next to someone holding an insect

Ways to customise this challenge: Gradually increase time and proximity.

1. Start with someone holding the insect on the other side of the room. Encourage your child to look at it, and then let them engage in another activity (colouring, watching television, playing a mobile game, etc.). Ask them to take a step closer to the insect and look at it again. Continue until they are able to stand next to the insect. 

2. Once they’ve gotten close to it once, you can also gradually increase the time. Start by having them stand next to it for 1 minute, then increase to 2 or 3, and continue until they can be next to it for 15-20 minutes.

You can encourage your child by saying:

• “You’re making great progress already! Keep it up!” 

• “I hope you’re proud of the way you’re learning to face your fears.”

Tips: 

If your child is worried about a particular kind of insect (like spiders, or things that bite or sting), be sure to start with something different. Try to find a ladybird or a fly or something that isn’t as worrying. If that is still too difficult, you might start with a dead insect so your child knows it can’t do anything.

7. Go somewhere there are insects

Ways to customise this challenge: Gradually increase time and proximity.

1. Choose a place to visit with your child, like a park or a garden. Talk with your child about where you think insects will most likely be - usually on and around plants and flowers. Tell them that the first time they visit they can stay on the pavement and not get too close to the grass or plants where the insects probably are. 

2. Gradually encourage them to get closer to plants or to spend time standing or sitting in the grass. Once they’ve spent time in the grass or near the plants once, you can also gradually increase the time. Start by having them stay for 1 minute, then increase to 2 or 3, and continue until they can be next to it for 15-20 minutes. When they’re ready, ask them to try to find an insect.

You can encourage your child by saying:

• “You’re doing such a great job with this goal. I’m proud of you!” 

• “Let’s think about all the challenges you’ve already completed. You’ve been really brave!”

Tips: 

This challenge is more unpredictable than the others so be patient with your child if they are more worried. Encourage them to keep trying even if they need to take breaks or can only stay for a minute or two at first!

8. Hold an insect in a container

Ways to customise this challenge: Gradually increase time and proximity.

1. Start with the insect in a container on the other side of the room. Encourage your child to look at it, and then let them engage in another activity (colouring, watching television, playing a mobile game, etc.). Ask them to take a step closer to the container and look at it again. Continue until they are able to pick up the container. 

2. Once they’ve picked it up once, you can also gradually increase the time. Start by having them hold it for 1 minute, then increase to 2 or 3, and continue until they hold it for 15-20 minutes.

You can encourage your child by saying:

• “It’s ok if you're worried. Remember you already know how to cope with those bad feelings!” 

• “You’re so brave! I know you can do it!”

Tips: 

If your child is worried about a particular kind of insect (like spiders, or things that bite or sting), be sure to start with something different. Try to find a ladybird or a fly or something that isn’t as worrying. If that is still too difficult, you might start with a dead insect so your child knows it can’t do anything.

9. Let an insect crawl on your hand

 Ways to customise this challenge: Gradually increase time and proximity.

1. Start with someone holding the insect on the other side of the room. Encourage your child to look at it, and then let them engage in another activity (colouring, watching television, playing a mobile game, etc.). Ask them to take a step closer to the insect and look at it again. Continue until they are able to stand next to it and touch it. 

2. Once they’ve gotten close to it, help them hold the insect or let it crawl on their hand. Start by having them hold it for 1 minute, then increase to 2 or 3, and continue until they can hold it for 15-20 minutes.

You can encourage your child by saying:

• “You are so brave. I know you’re going to make it through!” 

• “I’m so proud of you. I hope you are, too!”

Tips: If your child is worried about a particular kind of insect (like spiders, or things that bite or sting), be sure to start with something different. Try to find a ladybird or a fly or something that isn’t as worrying. If that is still too difficult, you might start with a dead insect so your child knows it can’t do anything.

Common questions