Goal 7: Be able to spend time in the dark

If your child is struggling with out of game challenges:

• The early / easier challenges are just as important as the later/harder ones. Don’t be tempted to overlook them as too easy. Doing those challenges sets children up to believe they can do this.

• Ask your child how they think they could customise these. They often have creative ideas!

• Don’t worry if one of the earlier challenges seems harder for your child than some of the later ones. All children are different.

• As a parent, have a think about the ultimate goal, and whether you’re happy for your child to get most of the way through and anything extra is a bonus. For example, you might be happy to see your child stay at home while you nip to the shops for an hour, or perhaps being able to go places where there might be insects but not necessarily needing to hold a big spider. 

• Children often benefit throughout all the challenges by using the breathing techniques they’re taught in the “imagine” challenge. Remind them to relax and take slow, deep breaths at the start of each challenge.

• Make it fun! For example, if your young person is worried about being in the dark, let your child put you in a dark room for a bit and see how you cope.

Customising out of game challenges

CHALLENGES: 4-8

4. Stay in a slightly dark room

Ways to customise this challenge: Reduce the amount of time your child needs to spend in the dark.

1. To make this challenge easier for your young person, try reducing the amount of time your child is in the dark to 1 or 2 minutes and gradually increase the time until they are able to stay there for 15-20 minutes. Be sure to tell them or let them decide how long they’re going to try to stay so they know what to expect.

2. If they are still finding this challenge too difficult, make it slightly easier by staying with them or letting them bring a teddy or other comfort object with them. 

You can encourage your child by saying:

• “It’s ok to feel worried about being in the dark.  Let’s give it a try anyway!” 

• “I know it feels bad when you’re scared, but those bad feelings can’t hurt you. You can be brave and make it through!”

Tips:

Set an alarm on your phone and let your child see how much time is left. 

5. Stay in a fairly dark room 

Ways to customise this challenge: Reduce the amount of time your child needs to spend in the dark.

1. To make this challenge easier for your young person, try reducing the amount of time your child is in the dark to 1 or 2 minutes and gradually increase the time until they are able to stay there for 15-20 minutes. Be sure to tell them or let them decide how long they’re going to try to stay so they know what to expect.

2. If they are still finding this challenge too difficult, make it slightly easier by staying with them or letting them bring a teddy or other comfort object with them. 

You can encourage your child by saying:

• “You’re so brave, and I’m so proud of you!” 

• “You can feel worried about being in the dark and still do it anyway. I know you can make it through.”

Tips:

Set an alarm on your phone and let your child see how much time is left. 

6. Stay in a dark room

Ways to customise this challenge: Start with the lights on and gradually make it darker.

1. It may help your child to see that nothing changes in the room as it gets darker. Start with all the lights on, and have them slowly turn off each lamp as they’re ready. The first time they might just turn all the lights off and then walk out of the room. The next time they can turn the lights off and then count to ten before they leave. Gradually increase the time until they can stay in the room for 15-20 minutes.

2. If they are still finding this challenge too difficult, make it slightly easier by staying with them or letting them bring a teddy or other comfort object with them. 

You can encourage your child by saying:

• “Think about all the challenges you’ve already completed. You’ve done a great job facing your fears!” 

• “I’m so proud of how brave you are, and I hope you are too!”

Tips:

Set an alarm on your phone and let your child see how much time is left. It may help them feel brave if they have a phrase to repeat in the dark, like “There’s nothing here to scare me because I’m so brave!”

7. Stay in a very dark room

Ways to customise this challenge: Gradually increase the darkness and time.

1. Like in the last challenge, let your child start with lights on and gradually make it darker until all the lights are off, including the hallway. Think of ways they can still distract themselves in the dark, like singing a song or telling a story out loud.

2. If they are still finding this challenge too difficult, make it slightly easier by staying with them or letting them bring a teddy or other comfort object with them. You can also start this challenge with only 1-2 minutes and gradually build up the time they spend in the dark.

You can encourage your child by saying:

• “It’s totally normal to feel worried in the dark. I know you’re brave enough to give it a go!”

• “You’ve already done a great job being in the dark, so let’s just keep going a little more.”

Tips:

Set an alarm on your phone and let your child see how much time is left. It may help them feel brave if they have a phrase to repeat in the dark, like “There’s nothing here to scare me because I’m so brave!”

8. Stay in a dark room with the door closed

 Ways to customise this challenge: Gradually increase the darkness and time.

1. Like in the last challenge, let your child start with lights on and gradually make it darker until all the lights are off, including the hallway. Ask your child if they want to start with the door closed or close it after the lights are off. Think of ways they can still distract themselves in the dark, like singing a song or telling a story out loud.

2. If they are still finding this challenge too difficult, make it slightly easier by staying with them or letting them bring a teddy or other comfort object with them. You can also start this challenge with only 1-2 minutes and gradually build up the time they spend in the dark.

You can encourage your child by saying:

• “You’re so brave! I know you can do it!” 

• “You should be really proud of how far you’ve come.”

Tips:

Set an alarm on your phone and let your child see how much time is left. It may help them feel brave if they have a phrase to repeat in the dark, like “There’s nothing here to scare me because I’m so brave!”

Common questions